Monday, July 4, 2011

Deep Thoughts: Give me my America back!

Interesting tidbit of history that got churched up to be politically correct: did you know that Robert E. Lee was the owner of Arlington Cemetery prior to it becoming the national cemetery? Would it surprise you to know that when northern army forces captured the mansion they decided to turn it into a cemetery just to put their finger square in the eye of Robert E. Lee? That’s right, the mansion, which was intended as a living memorial to George Washington, was owned and constructed by the first president's adopted grandson, George Washington Parke Custis, son of John Parke Custis who himself was a child of Martha Washington by her first marriage and a ward of George Washington.

So George Washington’s Grandson, George Washington Parke Curtis, built the house and lived there with his wife, Mary Lee Fitzhugh, until their deaths in 1857 and 1853. Their only child, Mary Anna Randolph Custis, married her childhood friend and West Point Graduate, Robert E Lee.

When the civil war broke out Lee became a Major General for the Virginia Military forces and as the war continued he rose to command the Army of Northern Virginia and became the face of the confederacy. Now that the history lesson of how Robert E. Lee came into possession of the house at Arlington is over, we can get into the real lesson - because what happened next in the history of the estate is where it really gets interesting. With the war dragging on and casualties piling up on the Union side, Brigadier General Montgomery C. Meigs suggested that the Arlington estate, 1,100 acres sitting atop a hill overlooking the Capital and National mall, be turned into a cemetery. Within a few weeks the remains of 1,800 casualties from the massacre at Bull Run were interned there and our nation’s largest and most recognizable cemetery was founded.

“What in the name of all that is holy is he getting at?” I hear you damand, "why am I reading this history lesson on a day when I should be drinking beer and eating 100% all beef patties!?".
Well its quite simple really – where did badass America go? Who took her and made her politically correct, who replaced boxing gloves with giant foam fingers? Why does everyone have to be a winner – who made ‘participation’ trophies? Arlington was the home of the commanding General of the Army that opposed the Union. So they captured it, and then buried their dead in his front yard. Try going home to live there sucker, good luck with your resale value now. Cross us and we will destroy you, end of story. Scorched Earth; we haz it.

Now look at us, we give out trophies to the winners and losers at youth sporting events, so nobody will feel bad. Participation trophy, really? Unless it clearly states 'champion' on it, you can bet that it will end up as a target for some long range 7.62mm training time that the children will be participating in. Political correctness abounds everywhere these days and we live in constant fear of insulting someone or making them feel discriminated against. My brother in law (who is German) recently told me that it is illegal to mow your lawn on a Sunday in Germany because it might make someone feel bad that you are doing yard work and they aren't. Give me a break, how in the name of all that is holy did you guys manage to go from being one bad decision (Russia - pretty bad decision that) away from controlling all of continental Europe to not mowing your lawn on a Sunday in less than 80 years? Seriously, someone explain that to me. The explanation might be inside a locked box marked "your balls are in here" - im just guessing.

Pshaw I say, give me back the America of old; where men acted like men and being a winner meant something. I don't want ultra light beer with only 100 calories, I want a manly beer that doubles as diesel fuel if the need arrises. Give me back my America where we aren't afraid to insult someone or hurt their feelings, where parents tell their crying children 'get back in the fight' when they fall down and hurt their precious little knees.

Keep your pimp hand strong America, Happy Birthday.


  1. holy shit, a wargamer that isn't a total sniveling pussy... truly refreshing...

  2. Moros - This is a light day for Tallarn.

    Real men don't do sparklers... they invent rockets out of pipes, batteries, matches, old CO-2 cartriges and a little bit of wire.

    Garage doors, walls, and 4x4 beams are not safe!

    I'll be in the corner continuing Kellen's education on being a 'real man'...


  3. well thank you, I thought it was a topic that could use a few questions raised!