Deep Thoughts: Soft Core Cheating

To me there are two types of cheating; both of them are evil, stupid and have no place in the hobby for anyone. The first type of cheat is a gamer who is hard core in their cheating, they will make stuff up and rule lawyer you to death using arguments they know to be false hoping that you will concede the point just to not be a bad guy. They read forums and know what the counter arguments are and rehearse their cheating before playing, to ensure that it comes across as true and accurate. The other kind of cheater is a soft core cheater who will make snide remarks while presenting a cheerful face and simultaneously apologizing for mistakes that are planned and deliberate. In my opinion, the soft core cheater is by far the worse of the varieties of cheaters because they will present a friendly and welcoming appearance to your face while simultaneously waiting for any opportunity to stab you in the back.

My Chimera, Soft Core Cheater Target

Do you know what that is in the picture? Right there on the front, below the heavy bolter. Dozer blade? No - Incorrect. That is the reason I lost a game awhile back and the perfect target for the soft core cheater I ran into during that game. You see, I like to model my vehicles, so much so that I try very hard to give them some realism. I like dozer blades, I think they are cool, I put them on my transports but I don't buy them in my army lists. I simply like the way they look and nobody I ever played had a problem with them or used them against me, until a game a few months ago.

When my reserves rolled onto the table carrying two veteran squads and my company command squad I measured from the front of the tank's hull six inches from the edge of the board and placed them on the table. My soft core cheater opponent jovially pointed out that I needed to measure from the front of the dozer blade as that was the leading edge of the model. Not wanting to cause a problem with someone I just met and trying to be a nice guy in a new gaming circle I measured from the leading edge of the dozer blade which put the back end of my tank right on the edge of the board. Exactly where my opponent wanted it.

In the next turn power armor clad assault marines descended from the sky and popped two of my transports on the table edge. The two squads disembarked right off the table edge and to their doom. Now, we all know that emergency disembarkation would allow my squads to take the field anywhere within 2 inches of the hull, but I didn't bring that up. I looked at my opponent and said, 'oh dear, well I guess they are destroyed?' Gloomily he responded, 'yeap, right off the table edge.' I purposefully pretended to not understand the rules to see if the guy had a shred of humanity in him, or if he was just out to club some baby seals. Turns out our portly store troll only really cared about beating people and would gladly feign ignorance about rules if it benefited him.

If that is what it takes for you to win then have at it, I congratulate you on your inventiveness and your subtle way of cheating. If it makes you feel better to beat people knowing full well that you won by capitalizing on the lack of knowledge of your opponent, congratulations: A Winner Is You. Funnily enough a few weeks later when there was a tournament at that same store our portly card flipper was nowhere to be seen... I wonder why?

still practicing_

Tallarn